That is NOT a Maroon 5 song, don’t fucking lie to me

that is NOT how you spell tuba.

Finally, I can say the fuck word!

Are you familiar with… cognitive behavioral LINKIN PARK??!!!!

NO. I DONT WANNA BE FREDDIE MERCURY. I DONT WANNA DO THIS AGAIN

nothing good has come out of tuscaloosa alabama

wow cool.. i guess barbie is now a thing

…Bathing in microplastics is a FORMATIVE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCE and I will NOT allow you to deprive them of it just because you ‘don’t understand’ it!

Construction noises are really interrupting my yaoi.

He smells like if the Home Depot lumber isle was a person… and that person… was a dog. Err… well… a coyote. Comparison cancelled. Whatever, man. You know what I meant.

I am part of the penis machine. You know, the one that wrecks capitalism.

I hope you brought some popcorn, cuz I’m about to LINKIN PARK!!!

WE ARE NOT FUCKING INSPECTOR GADGET!!!!!!!!

Nonsense is a great way to write.

5000 pairs of gladiators throw a parade.

i can’t WAIT for 1500!

• …Nothing but shattered dreams and broken glass. Makes for a bad combo.
• Allegedly.
• Allegedly??

TRANS EGGMAN??! IN MY BIOS?????????!!!

yeah thats pretty purple 🍌

• Okay, okay… time for therapy homework. What are 3 things we admire about ourselves?
• 1. Our boyish, swagful presence.
• …I’m sorry, what? What the fuck does that mean?

Fuck this shit I’m renaming myself to Nuclear Warhead

you’re marshing my mellow, dude

Are you as stupid as the Brave Little Toaster?

caffeinated chocolate milk????

I don’t think Rain World’s gonna fix this.

• Where the fuck are our glasses?
• Just in time for a Jet2 holiday!

Rotating sticks?? What do you want from me Paul???

• Here’s a fun thought experiment, what if I killed you?
• Eh… depends.

Babe, BABE ITS JUST THE BANK. ITS JUST THE FUCKING BANK. IT IS NOT ME.

You have… slugless behavior.

• ..of our feople.
• Don’t put your feet in my people??

• death by drowning? count me in!
• death by drowning? count me out!

why dont we have any blue fucks?

…WAIT A MINUTE I’M THE BLUE FUCK

wdym we’re bleeding AGAIN???

You ever just download penis at 3am?

PORTUGAL PORTUGAL PORTUGAL PORTUGAL PORTUGAL PORTUGAL PORTUGAL PORTUGAL PORTUGAL PORTUGAL PORTUGAL PORTUGAL PORTUGAL PORTUGAL

can mangos just decide what fucking color they are

Aw, I wanted the arson.

I thought about it, and you know what? It’s not 2020.

not what i SAID. I SAID A FENNEL BULB. i dont want seeds. i dont want seeds. i dont want seeds. i dont want seeds. i dont fucking want seeds.

Those were some cake crimes I just witnessed. I need witness protection for that treat torture.

Shush! Okay- erm, can I get a please jurger? Shit… A Geez jur- a a police Jurger? …fuckin hell…

we haven’t talked about aluminium in a while.. yeah that’s a good topic

WE DO NOT NEED GLITTER.

• well we can’t exactly like… leave right now? we’re too deep into the crowd, it’d be a hassle.
• can i interest you in piss your pants?
• what the fuck?

I wish santa phrase was real

like just putting hot sauce on your hands?

…There is a highly opinionated British man whispering in my ear right now…

Here! Have a baguette, fellow twink!

see now I KNOW you’re bullshitting me, where’s the cranberry juice.