The charts are TO THE MOON!!

Craving ice cream in the summer? The convenience store near your home or office can solve your problem.

weird but I can’t look away

I don’t want balsamic vinegar after all

Swedish girls are searching for a Japanese samurai trapped inside a Chinese toy phone

(whisper sound effect)

USA people of Hong Kong

They do it jumbo.

Tall, Wide, Yellow, and Sticky: What Is It?

lumbersexual

Let’s get drunk. Perfectly.

Take yours to the checkout now!

Place Angry Mama in the microwave, then she gets steaming mad.

Since variety is the spice of life, try adding salt, pepper, or other tasty seasonings.

The pan didn’t have a prayer.

A blueberry muffin stuffed with blueberries, that would be neat!

The Lighter Side

Memorable Gifts That Delight, Entertain & Amuse!

The more you shake it, the smoother you make it!

I use Ai (not to be confused with AI)

Making Sense That Offends Everyone!

you’re gonna eat more salads

Think Healthy.

You want salsa, but do you have the time?

The more you crank, the finer he gets.

If towel drop the water wet, does wet water towel to wet floor dry?

If the earth is flat, then where’s the bottom?

The database is FREE! Just pay for processing.

You gotta cache, cuz we can’t do this all day.

Stop being a slob.

We got our sponge, we got our mess—relax, I’ve done dirtier things than this… Ugh.

It’s the only cleaner strong enough to have my name in it.

Made in Germany, you know the Germans always make good stuff.

Tacos, fetuccini, linguini, martini, bikini.

were SO BARACK

You’re going to eat more garlic.

You’re going to love my nuts.

You’re going to have an exciting life now.

Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life.

• Hey, uh… that’s probably enough.
• I’LL TELL YOU WHEN I’VE HAD ENOUGH!

i would rather inject 3 whole grams of vx directly into my neurons than listen to this

don’t drink water
fish have WHAT in it

Unix: LF
Mac: CR
Windows: fuck it, take both

LET THE SLOP BEGIN!

Use the public API mindfully. Please cache the database. Unlimited public API usage may be purchased (at exorbitant rates) by contacting linerly@pm.me

god wants mac and cheese for dinner

sometimes i feel like im doing something wrong by simply existing

breaking news: local postman begs a lamp to let them eat a table. more at 9

I do not want clams in my shower.

Take my UV camera…

Good morningn’t