we haven’t talked about aluminium in a while.. yeah that’s a good topic

WE DO NOT NEED GLITTER.

• well we can’t exactly like… leave right now? we’re too deep into the crowd, it’d be a hassle.
• can i interest you in piss your pants?
• what the fuck?

I wish santa phrase was real

like just putting hot sauce on your hands?

…There is a highly opinionated British man whispering in my ear right now…

Here! Have a baguette, fellow twink!

see now I KNOW you’re bullshitting me, where’s the cranberry juice.

I have normal hyperfixations. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to watch 260 episodes about plane crashes

DID I DIE IN FUCKING WAR??????

What, have to make sure you’re being paid to pray?

THEY’RE SAYING I SHOULD TRUST THE TWITTER BOT TO FIX MY NUTRIENT INTAKE??? HELLO???

Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, coffee drink to fuel my trouble

okay who spawned all these flamethrowers?

Have we considered the implications of hitting people with a bus?

schrodinger’s he/him

I’m playing five nights at freddy’s in real life, except the objective is to stay awake until 5PM

celsi✨yass✨

Epic Rap Battles of History: Me vs My Avoidant Traits

dude i’m so excited to become 1000 years old

I’d still prefer to keep my hair spiderless in the future.

the twinklerrr

How do we stop going lizard mode

Oh right the contortionist was out 30 seconds ago

Why did I switch into our feet on our shoulder blades?

Welcome to the Adel-Art exhibition.

• this body is wayyyy too mortal
• i can try working on that
• no thanks i changed my mind this body is the perfect amount of mortal

you laid in bed for 2 hours instead of making food and now we have a migraine. until you take care of the body i get to throw as much shrimp as i want

When I breathe in through my nose, it smells like caramel coffee and an aquarium.

Is eating a chicken sandwich gender nonconforming?

hey, could you have your inner turmoil a bit more quietly? i need to focus on my yuri

• anyways, I’m tormenting them with evil Elmo’s World
• oh yeah, that is evil Elmo’s world

no.. N0. PUT THE SCRABBLE BOARD AWAY.

horse a man to fish and hel hrose for aday. but a man manhorse fishman life fish horsetime

why are you monologui ng. how do you spell it. monologuing. monologuing?

Quit fondling your balls and get your ass over here!!

also honorable mention to the fucking idiot in front with me because she spilt his water all over one of our beds as I wrote this

Hands are not my thing. They’re nice…I guess

My back sounds like Rice Krispies

I can only count to 5… 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

I have a VPN, I’ll just click “connect to United Kingdom” and suffer

I will break quarantine for Pac-Man

I prefer Gregorian chants

I can cry in three different formulas

You can spit in my mouth if you want to

My birthday is just another day except people are being more annoying

I wish Sharknado would happen already

I can’t find my pants, what am I going to do?

Oh, so I can’t summon demons, but you can bring back the dead?

You should have more birthdays