Truly, anything could be happening right now!!!

I bet on losing dogs

i’m sitting here crying

what are your thoughts about spirk (spock x kirk)? :3

i’m so oriented

i’m so disoriented

Hahahahahahahahahahaha. That one doesn’t count. I was just reading the teleprompter. You guys are ducked.

little cantaloupe boy

Why do I keep doing this nonsense?

Sources say that Penn State Coach James Franklin has a foot out the door, making him one of a number of coaches hanging on by a— cymbal

Is that a mistake?!?!?!

And finally, thud … cereal.

I swear, if there is trauma just before something good, I will piss off.

Finally, I’m overrated.

Cats are overrated, I will say, as somebody who has a cat, in the sense that however much love you give them, it’s like pouring it into an empty void.

They don’t return it unless it’s convenient for them.

First of all, Gonzo is the only good one.

… oh no …

I’ve got a wet spot. wheeze

I am pain, I’m in pain, and I’ve always been in pain.

The theory that intense laughter can elongate one’s life per second.

Wetness doesn’t matter. Dryness doesn’t matter.

Man, Gengar could run a train through me.

He REDACTED my boyfriend.

Maui WAUI AIYAYIYAIIIIIIIIIII

Dale? I thought your name was (baby voice) Oochi Coochie Bloopsie Loosie Goosie Tootsie~?

I’m (baby voice) GooGoo DaDa GooGoo BaBa MaMa WaWa TaTa~

I’m sorry, he’s a PDF file?

Boats. What are they?

highly-functioning nonsenser

I’m still grieving capitalism.

We want to let you think about something that you normally don’t think about.

Sunday—it’s the Lord’s day. 🙏

It’s still good to be aware though.

aaaAAAAA TOO MANY HAMBURGERRRRSSSSS NOOOO NO NO NO

Doctor, evelyn lasagna?

To be driven mad upon the rock.

It’s your issue, OK?

amn in saerious debt

Where’d you get 6 seconds? There’s no clock!

Give me your teeth.

With my services, you’ll have a… a… a good time.

Without my services, uhm, you will have a bad time.

Sam says don’t flinch—HAAAAAH

Please open your Jack-in-the-boxes.

Hey, let me tell you: The day I don’t curse when a body falls from the sky, call somebody.

The musical version of edging is happening.

There’s only one thing that gets me through and that’s knowing that you’re always here beside me… in a platonic way???

Dance is a REDACTED! Dance is a REDACTED! Dance is not right. DO NOT DANCE. NO. NO.

H eccrc CV in by ehvvuntcrccjdvghjfghg, crying, fire, crying, de

• Are you healthy?
• Physically, yes. Mentally, no.

I swear, if you blame me for something even as small once more, I will not forgive you in the foreseeable future. You may not judge me—you may only judge yourself, because you matter. You must leave me alone at all times and NEVER disturb except in an emergency. You may keep your peace between yourself should you not disturb.