Can’t sleep at night?
Monsters keep tryin’ to eat your face?
Come on down to REDACTED’s Deluxe Divan
The only bed store where every bed is 100% creeper-proof!
We got red beds, blue beds, beds so soft you’ll forget you even have bones!
Buy one bed, get another COMPLETELY free! and we’ll even throw in a complimentary pillow stuffed with real chicken feathers! That’s right, REAL chicken!
REDACTED’s Deluxe Divan: where your dreams come true, unless they’re nightmares… um then, uh… good luck with that I guess